Karunai Illam

 Karunai-illam.org

So I first became acquainted with Karunai Illam (Compassion House) through the Sufi style ‘turning’ group at the Wellington Study Group, where I met Michael and Gillian who are trustees in Karunai Illam Trust. They answered my question about a flier on the wall and this eventually turned into reading Jean Watson’s book about how the Illam began.

It was a great read! Beginning in the mid 80’s with a search for a different environment in which to stimulate creative writing, through meeting people who had a dream to start a home and make a difference to children who would otherwise have very little access to higher education.

Suddenly a totally different path in life!

The joys of accomplishments and the stress and anxiety of raising funds, the difficulties of dealing with Indian bureaucracy and wiring money to a different country before the internet, the growth with every year more children joining, the prolonged back and forth and indecision when finding the right plan to build new buildings. There have been huge emotional and financial investments by Jean and many other New Zealanders.

For the last four years the Dhan foundation has been running the Illam, now the Karunai Dhan Illam. From what I’ve heard it seems like this has been a relief for the trustees and Jean.

Like all things involving humans, it seems there have been interpersonal difficulties- differences in beliefs of how the Illam should be run both in culture and financially. Unfortunately this resulted in the co-founder Subiah diddling everybody by putting the new land Jean sold her house to buy under his wife’s name instead of the trusts, then selling it to a local politician. This drama has been a pain in the heart for everyone here and is still being fought over years later, now with the youth and proximity of the Dhan foundation rather than by Jean and the trustee’s. I would have thought this would be clear cut theft/fraud and easily dealt with, but it seems it is quite difficult to deal with the power of politicians here. Moves me to feel a relative affection for our politicians, who only diddle the odd personal flight or stomach stapling operation (as far as we know anyway!).

So for the last four years it has been a tight ship, under the care of Khader sir, the regional coordinator for Dhan, Nagarathanim Madam in the girls hostel, and Deva sir who looks after the boys. All three are so solid in their ethical beliefs about putting the children first, doing what’s best for the local communities and greater society as well as their spiritual beliefs all intertwined.

Specs:

In Nillakottai, a small town which is the big smoke for many smaller villages in its surrounds (about 80 I think). North east of Madurai, 1.5 hours away from there by bus.

The main Illam building: Houses the girls and the Life centre (adult education centre). One small complex of buildings 3mins walk from the main drag. (my attempt at a map on paint below)

The Garden: This is a lovely 8 acre area of grass, flower and fruit trees that Jean has planted over the last 20ish years, a well and two buildings where Deva and the boys live. It is about 10-15 minutes walk through some countryside and a small village to the main building. The boys come to the main building for breakfast and after school for study, prayer and dinner. The 4-5 acres next to this land is the land in dispute the Illam used to cultivate food here to feed children and raise money.

Children, 11 boys and 24 girls (one of whom I have not met as she is at her parents) between 7^th and 12^th standard (ages 12-17).

Culture- Affection, Study, Prayer

I feel that the culture here at the Illam is very good. The relationship that Nagarathanim has with the girls, Deva with the boys and Khader sir with all the children is really healthy, and the relationship the children have with each other makes me go “awwwwww you are sooooo lovely and adorable and funny and sweet!” on the inside (sometimes on the outside too) when I seen them play fight and joke, correct each others behavior and generally be affectionate.

Korbinaran, Muniaple and…….. cuddling up on the bus for a snooze after a trip to the nearby city Dindigul. Super cute.

They competed in a Dhan essay writing and drawing competition, (Dhilip came second place for his drawing)  participated in a walkathon with hundreds of school kids (10 min walk!) to raise awareness on the huge waste problem here in India, then came with me up to Malaikottai, an amazing old Hindu temple/fort on a Huge rock (not a hill, a rock).

Of course there are some differences in thinking when it comes to how the place should be run.

N is of the thinking it is best and safest to keep boys and girls separate until they are in their 20’s, more mature. I tend to agree that this is probably a good idea here in India, where the relationship between males and females are more fraught (the no-mans land in between dotted with mines and darkly moonlit corners) the gossip mill (totally a mill) could be quite dangerous, the government could shut down the Illam, apparently, if it’s reputation was damaged by inter-genderal fraternisation. (sorori-fraternisation? Hmmmmm) .

So there is no intermingling and getting to know you between the girls and boys, not even at the washing up sink, where if a group of girls are washing their dish the boys will wait around the corner (and vica-verca).

From what I’ve seen in the Dhan offices in Madurai and the Life centre here, the relationship between sexes is very relaxed and fun. Workmates refer to each other as brother and sister (Older brother=Anan, Older sister= Aka, younger sister=Tengae, Younger brother=Tembi). I think that Khader and Deva would like to see more mixing between the girls and boys as a precursor to this more modern Dhan work culture, I think also it would be nice for them to study in their age groups together maybe. But for the moment the safe option prevails.

The other thing I love about the culture here, as well as India in general, is the central place spirituality takes in life. Prayers! Morning twice, before eating, a big one in the evening. I really love the prayers! I would describe them as rhythmic undulating chants, the girls usually start them with the boys joining in at what I’m pretty sure is a minor third below.  Of course not all people can sing so it can get a bit atonal at times, but some nights it is magic. Aaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmm shakti, shakti, shakthi (sounds like ‘shanti’ to me)

Below is the daily routine (a good example of the tight shippiness Nagarathanim has implemented!)

430AM – wake up, wash (YIKES!  I did this the first day, then never since hahah)

500AM – yoga (a modified simple sitting routine)

-          Hair do’s (big deal), general get ready

-          Study

700AM – Prayers (afterwards a chorus of “good morning madam! Good morning sister!)

-          Study

745AM – Breakfast (girls in their room, Madam, Deva, I and the boys in the dining room)

830AM – Prayers outside all together

840AM – Go to school

5 to 530 pm – Back home from school

545PM – Snack and tea time, a different snack for each day of the week J

6 to 730PM – Study (boys in life centre, girls all over the place in hall and around dining room, or upstairs next to my room catching the last light)

730-45PM – Prayers all together in the big hall

 800PM – Dinner time

After, boys go home, more study I’m guessing. Girls will study for another hour or so, then younger ones in bed by 10. A couple of very diligent studiers go past 1030 but most o time all in bed by then. Sometimes I rark up the younger ones before bed with a rousing game of candle sticks or duck duck goose, N doesn’t seem to mind (Simon says is the more educational option). They tell me they’re ready for bed when they’re ready! I don’t ever remember doing that as a child, but then I wasn’t getting up at 430 and expected to study for couple of hours after a late dinner.
Top Picture: Younger girls with shared reading in the big front hallway with the help if their dependable Aka Divya.
Bottom Picture: Older girls reading a passage from a spiritual book and shred discussion afterwards

On Fridays there are special prayers in the morning after breakfast with the girls and N, and at night with everybody. There is one prayer that was composed by Vasimile (Dhan director) and the Dhan foundations prayer man. (Can’t remember the official title) I heard him lead the prayers at the Dindigul walkathon, it was captivating. The Illam is non-delineational, respecting all three main religions here (Hindu, Islam and Christian). A few children are Chirstian, the rest Hindu. In the dining Hall there are pictures of Jesus, Veniaha (ganesh), Mariamal (I’m prettyu sure another name for Siva’s wife Parvati) and Muslim patterned tiles.  Their prayers are also non-deliniational (is that a word? I thought it was but spell check is telling me no!), chanting more about ethical concepts rather than devotional to a specific deity.

THE FUTURE- Sounds like they will have more children next year! Talking to D and N, the ideal future it seems is that when the land is returned (hopefully!) they will start to raise funds to build two dormitories on the land, and the current main building will house the Life centre.